The 2010 Turkey Race
I have to admit that as word trickled through that “So and So is on a business trip”, and “Thungummy Bob is working”, and “Wotisname has to go and see his girlfriend’s mates”; I was nearing despair. The Turkey Race was coming up – the Kuwait Sailing Club’s only compulsory event; and boatowners were letting us down left right and centre. I started having nightmares about it. I started thinking it was all my fault, perhaps the boatowners are boycotting the event because they don’t like having me as Commodore (OK – resignation to be tendered in the New Year!)
I’d like to say it all came right on the night – but wait….
The morning came around and TWO catamaran owners rigged their boats. That’s it. two of us. Myself and Dave Boyd. Marc is forgiven, because he sailed with me, and there weren’t even enough crew on the beach to justify us taking a boat each. And Gjalt is forgiven since he was whizzing his wife Corinna (our esteemed and admired judge) around on the Rescue boat.
Thanks also go to John, Stuart, Chris M and Nigel, who all borrowed other boats to sail, so we at least had 6 catamarans afloat. And thanks also to Chris and Vicky who took their Wanderer out as well. But, in time honoured fashion, I’ll say it as it is: I was really devastated that more cat owners didn’t make the effort to come along for the only event of the year that we beg them to.
Luckily, Corinna (our event organiser this year) was very upbeat and positive about it all; and she gallantly tried to drag me out of my pit of depression. So I traipsed off sullenly to decorate my boat.
Dave and Steve had gone all out with decadent decorations for their boat. I have to say, they deserved to win the dressage, and I think they did, in fact.
Their costumes weren’t bad, either, although I would have expected a higher standard, since they claimed they were up till 2.30am putting them together. Hmmm. I don’t believe them, handsome as they were!
Well, I mean, Marc and I were up until 10.26pm slaving on ours, and look at the standard of excellence we achieved!
Believe it or not, the hats are truly what the teletubbies wear – Dipsy has a green spike, and Po has a Red circle. The judge’s (Dutch) husband pointed out that they were a little raunchy… but you need to appreciate that Teletubbies are award winning TV in the UK!!
Oops. There were no decorations in the bag – by mistake we had brought the Turkey Race bag rather than the Decoration Bag. Never mind. Since there were no spectators on the beach, I used the tutus. Remember the shiny pink tutus that we give to spectators to dare to approach without costume? Well, since they weren’t needed, I tied one to each batten pocket, and the result wasn’t bad.
As usual, Team NES excelled themselves on the costume front; and the boat decoration was awesome. I played the battle-axe and refused to let Chris take one boat for all, insisting that since they were being lent boats by owners other than Marc, they really shouldn’t be putting boats (designed for two) under the stresses of 5 fully grown and excited pirates. So they split themselves between two boats. All the better for pillaging and looting other boats, in the words of the pirates themselves!
Ha. They were, to be frank, the most timid pirates NES has ever sent along to the Turkey Race….
Vicky made a super christmas tree, and dressed husband Chris up as a christmas card holder. Now that was a brilliant idea, and one which we have never seen before:
Larch was given a head start, on accout of her handicap being lower than the rest of the fleet – although I did try to explain to the esteemed judge’s husband that she really didn’t need one, since she is expertly sailed by the champions of North West England. So they set off before the rest of us, and we simply couldn’t catch them! Never mind, the esteemed Judge’s husband saw sense, and imposed a 360 on them during each and every leg to slow them down. Well, they still got back to the beach before everyone else!
I was accused of cheating. Staurt and his woosy pirate crew left a gift of a white toy chicken on their deck. I should mention that the Turkey Race is a sailing treasure hunt based on the Twelve Days of Christmas. The aim is to sail a course collecting treasures from the buoys, and then identify them. However, you are only allowed to collect two treasure from the buoy. Nothing in the rules, however, limits how many you may steal from other boats….
So, I leant out and gently swiped their gift. The Pirate Captain roared in fury, and boarded our boat to steal back his treasure, abandoning his Boy Roger who had never been on a sailing boat in his life before in the middle of the high seas! (Are you reading this, Mr Ziad rajab?)
So anyway, my noble husband slid over to the pirate ship to rescue the poor abandoned child, and I gave the Pirate Captain such a good time that he forgot to retrieve the aforesaid treasure. Ha.
Not quite sure how the other boats fared – if you are a trusty loyal reading this, please feel free to write about your experiences in the comments box at the end…
So, all-in-all, a good day’s sailing was had by all.
The race was followed by a bbq, and prizegiving. The NES pirates justifiably won First Place – which was a very honest decision by the esteemed judge. Normally, the judge selects the winner based on who would be good to arrange the race next year, which is normally the Grand Prize. Nope, no shiftiness like that this year. The winner of the Grand Prize was selected by a very fair draw from a hat. I am delighted to announce that the honourable position of next year’s Turkey Race organisers goes to……. [drum roll, please…..]
CHRIS AND VICKY of LARCH!!!!!!!!
Marc and I would like to give a very hefty thanks to Corinna, who did a fantastic job of organising this year’s Turkey Race. THANK YOU!!!! [round of applause, please!]